As we all know, arguments in relationships are inevitable. If you truly care about someone, you should be willing to tell the person the truth regardless of if they want to hear the truth or not.
More often, arguments in relationships are caused when being confronted by the truth. Most people who claim to have never argued with their partners have in one way or the other shielded the truth and always said what the other wants to hear.
A relationship with no arguments is a relationship with a lot of secrets. If you are going to be a honest partner to your spouse then be ready for arguments.
That being said, you will have to know how to handle arguments so it doesn't escalate to resentment or physical fights.
I have compiled 5 classic ways to deal with arguments whenever they arise.
1. Control Your Emotions
If your partner did something that got you really upset, do not talk about it while you're still angry. Talking about it then would only seem as though you are attacking him/her. People get defensive when they feel they are attacked. They simply won't listen to your complaints and will only focus on the fact that they need to defend themselves.
Cool off, try to laugh out to calm your nerves, take a walk, listen to music.... whatever you do, do not confront your partner while you're still upset about what they did.
If you were the one being confronted and you feel attacked, the first thing to do is smile (it helps calm the nerves a lot). After smiling, ask politely to use the bathroom... while in the bathroom, try to understand the situation. Why is this person angry?, what did I do wrong?, put yourself in their shoes.
2. Approach the Situation
After calming your nerves, you need to approach the situation. It's advisable to talk about it before the day ends so you can start a new day afresh, not lingering to the past.
Approach your partner with calmness even if they still seem upset. Your calmness will have an effect on their temper. It will make the whole atmosphere calm.
If you are the one being confronted and your partner is angry at you for some reason:
Say words like " I know you are angry and I'm really sorry to upset you.... I understand the whole situation. How can I improve?, Those words would make them drop their anger and be more willing to give up the arguments.
If you are the one upset and need to do the confrontation: say words like, " My love, I wasn't happy about what you did". (State whatever the person did)... a Make sure you maintain your calm tone. If your partner gets defensive and tries to defend the situation, just keep calm and listen. Be in control of the situation... listen and ask questions.
If it seems as though she is still being defensive... say words like," put yourself in my shoes, what would you do if someone did this to you"... say it calmly and it will help her loosing her guard.
3. Do Not Compare Your Partner With Someone Else
While trying to approach the situation calmly and with maturity, do not compare your spouse in order to prove a point.
However tempting or accurate it may seem to compare your spouse to your ex, friends, neighbors, etc... do not.
Instead of comparing, use words like, " I will be happy if you start taking me out on dates every Friday" ... Don't say " Mike takes his girlfriend out on dates every Friday" ... Don't!!!
Comparison leads to resentment and that doesn't go away easily.
4. Drop your Ego
If everyone drops their pride and Ego, arguments would be sorted out faster.
Whenever your partner wants you to do something that you're usually not used to, it would be great to consider the suggestion and adapt with it.
Ps: Something morally right, not something illegal.
When you upset your partner and he/she vents their frustration, you must be ready to put Ego aside and take to correction.
5. Make Up
After the whole argument and everyone is ready to take responsibility, it's best to make up with a hug. Then, do whatever the person wants straight away.
I will advise hugging as the first step because it diffuses any traces of anger or bitterness. Hug, dance together then take a trip out of the house together.
In case the person is too busy to go out, go out and get something for the person... anything soothing: drinks, ice cream, snacks etc...
Make up is a vital step to any argument as it brings the hostile atmosphere into a friendly atmosphere once again.
All the best.
